What it's all about

Introductions first. I'm Mike. 40 (oh wait, 41 I guess) year-old Dad, husband and cubicle worker-bee. I have two kids, both boys, ages 8 (almost 9) and 11. They are good kids (and I try to remind myself of this just about every day). You'll meet them in much more detail in the weeks to come, but that should get you situated for now.

This blog is intended to be a chronicle of my latest parenting experiment. We'll discuss the experiment shortly, but before we get to that, let's get one thing straight from the outset; I'm not a great parent. There are some people (you know them) who just seem to handle this parenting gig with relative ease. They know what to say to their kids, how to deal with the issues, love being around them at all times, etc.....that is sooooo not me. I struggle. Mightily. If you are coming here for parenting advice stop right now. Click on over to Geekdad (where the superparents hang out), hug your kids and consider yourself lucky. However, if you're coming here to see how some poor schmuck muddled through and you're curious to see how it all turned out, then stick around and enjoy the ride. Watch the train wreck of a floundering parent in real-time.

Let me first establish the problem I'm trying to solve. I don't think it's unique to me. Essentially I'm trying to get my kids to do things (good things) without me forcing them. Basically their default actions at home right now are watching TV, watching Youtube, playing video games or, finally, reading. That really was it. Reading would usually only happen at bedtime or when I would reach my limits on the other stuff and tell them to "GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO!" Christmas break had arrived and I was damned if I was going to let me lil' ones spend it slouched on the couch drooling as they passively absorbed yet another episode of Scooby Doo (first, I must confess that this is exactly how I spent my Christmas break as a kid, and secondly I need to warn everyone that I am both an obsessive user of parenthetical comments as well as an inveterate abuser of the ellipsis...if you hate either of those, go away now....seriously, right now).

I'm sure there are many ways to solve this problem, i.e. establishing time periods when it's ok to watch TV/use computer, time limits of same. But that's not a satisfying solution for me. It's still me, the parent, telling them what to do. They aren't engaged in the process. Plus if you are like me, the constant vigilance required for these types of solutions is tiring and all to easy to relax.

So, my latest attempt to change my children's behavior is what I'm calling World of Warcraft Parenting. What prompted this current scheme was my continuing frustration with my boys' behavior and my inability to positively change that behavior without resorting to "getting mad" (and all the negativity that conjures up in your imagination). The catalyst for change (the tipping point if you will) was a TED talk I watched regarding video games. The first thing you must know about me is that I love games. Currently that love is channeled mostly into board games, but at times in the past it has been role-playing games, video games, collectible card games, word games....I like games. More than that, I think games are misunderstood and misused, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The TED talk I watched can be seen here. Go watch it....I'll wait...

Ok, interesting, huh? If you didn't watch it (shame), let me summarize what I took away from the fellow's presentation (you really should watch it as the rest of my blog is predicated on some of his ideas):

1. Video games, good ones anyways, are unbelievably compelling/engaging. 10,000,000 people playing (and paying for) World of Warcraft is evidence of this. I'm not really sure what 70,000,000 people playing Farmville tells us, but I suppose it's worth noting as well (if you're a cow-clicker, I apologize....I don't get it).
2. They achieve this through a carefully calibrated system of tasks and rewards. Properly weighting difficulty with the reward is crucial (not too easy, not too difficult).
3. Effort is rewarded and performing the prescribed tasks have clear, demonstrable benefits. Transparency is key. Players can "see" the results of their actions immediately.
4. Elements of randomness are addictive.

This seemed like something I could use to solve some of my parenting issues. The idea, admittedly not terribly revolutionary, was to simply assign rewards for good behavior; but to do that in a very systematic way. We'll go into more detail in future posts, but the core of the design is really very simple....every time my two boys do something that I believe to be "positive" they get some points. Points can be used to gain a reward. Simple as that. Think of it as experience points, gold coins, loot drops, whatever. But my kids are on the road to "grinding" through their childhood ;)